How to Ruin your Life

Five Easy Ways to Ruin Your Life!

1) Become a Emotions Junkie-  Be sure to pay close attention to any and all feelings of anxiety or sadness. Do not explore the temporary, situational reasons for your emotions. Do anything it takes to quiet negative emotions right now!

2) Destroy Your Marriage- Follow these 5 steps.

3) Play the Victim Card- Take everything as a personal attack on you. When anything happens, no matter how innocent it appears on the surface, assume it is an attack. Immediately feel hurt and victimized. This will be a sure route to attention at any social gathering. Loudly share how the world has dealt you a raw deal. People love that!

4) Look Out For Number One- Every situation can quickly be assessed for what you can get out of it. Its 2007, gotta' get yours. Grab all the money and power you can. Backstabbing, dishonesty, stealing all are the most popular ways to insure a sucessful power grab.The classic move, honing in on someone's weakness, yields excellant results.

5) Refuse to Take Responsibity- Avoid all feelings of shame, guilt, or sadness by blaming everything but yourself. Instead of putting your nose to the proverbial grindstone to change your life; look for the easy targets of blame. Some classic offenders are: your parents, your kids, your boss, the man, big oil, the government, and, of course, Karl Rove.

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"..the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
       they do not know what makes them stumble."   -Proverbs 4:19.

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Thanks to the fabulous Shannon, at the wildly fabulous, Rocks in My Dryer!

Comments

[Kathy in WA]

Great list! Glad you've gotten that down in print for us. Since I wrote on marriage (from a less "witty" approach) it was fun reading your blog. :)

[Overwhelmed With Joy!]

What a thought-provoking list! Thanks for shairng.

[Mommy 2.0]

Thanks for the quick reference guide. Although I have to admit that as I read this, I couldn't help thinking that this was some kind of untitled biography. ;)

[Ann Kroeker]

What a clever approach to sobering reminders of how we really do destroy ourselves relationally, psychologically, etc.

Good stuff here, presented in a way that helps people drop their defenses and really listen (and ponder).

[SAHMmy Says]

Great post (and love the marriage article as well!) #1 & #3 go hand in hand with my belief that there are 2 kinds of people: those who fight with their friends and those who do not. Save the drama for your mama, in my opinion!