Fussy is a Lunatic Football Momma
In honor of the last month of our football season.
Enjoy the story of how I learned to love it!
Back in July, I wrote....
I've been called many things in my life. Never have I been described as competitive. I firmly believe that one person's good is every one's good. I revel in other people's good fortune as if it were mine. I have a No-Schadenfreude policy.
_______________________________________________
Your kid walks before mine?
Good for him.
Your kid breezes through math without effort?
That's great.
Your house is bigger.
It's pretty.
Your husband does housework?
Aren't you lucky!
____________________________________________________
When Enforcer and Partyboy started football this month, I was happy that they would play a sport. Soccer bored them to tears in past years. They chose football.
Not flag football.
Full pads, helmet, tackle football.
I normally sit on the bleachers and halfway watch the boys. Mostly I try to keep Little Man occupied and keep mosquitoes away from Little Monkey. I would really rather go home early and put them to bed.
Last night was the first night of full pads. Mr. Smartypants was annoyed with Partyboy because he wasn't hitting his practice partner. Partyboy is taller than most other 8 yr. old boys and was paired up with a little boy half his size! I knew he just refused to hurt him. As a mommy, I understood. Mr. Smartypants gave him a 'pep-talk' during his water break. A rather passionate peptalk. He explained that he has to tackle boys even if they are smaller. Partyboy had never realized that he would be expected to actually knock people over. Permission was granted. It was on!
I gave Mr. Smartypants the evil eye and told him he was being a mean, over-competitive father. I mentally disparaged his parenting, his manliness, and his character. It wasn't pretty. Let's just say it wasn't my finest hour.
Then, it happened. Partyboy got a different partner, and then was put in formation. He hit, he tackled, he sacked. I heard the helmets and pads cracking together and I changed. I was hooked.
When Enforcer and Partyboy started football this month, I was happy that they would play a sport. Soccer bored them to tears in past years. They chose football.
Not flag football.
Full pads, helmet, tackle football.
I normally sit on the bleachers and halfway watch the boys. Mostly I try to keep Little Man occupied and keep mosquitoes away from Little Monkey. I would really rather go home early and put them to bed.
Last night was the first night of full pads. Mr. Smartypants was annoyed with Partyboy because he wasn't hitting his practice partner. Partyboy is taller than most other 8 yr. old boys and was paired up with a little boy half his size! I knew he just refused to hurt him. As a mommy, I understood. Mr. Smartypants gave him a 'pep-talk' during his water break. A rather passionate peptalk. He explained that he has to tackle boys even if they are smaller. Partyboy had never realized that he would be expected to actually knock people over. Permission was granted. It was on!
I gave Mr. Smartypants the evil eye and told him he was being a mean, over-competitive father. I mentally disparaged his parenting, his manliness, and his character. It wasn't pretty. Let's just say it wasn't my finest hour.
Then, it happened. Partyboy got a different partner, and then was put in formation. He hit, he tackled, he sacked. I heard the helmets and pads cracking together and I changed. I was hooked.
My polite WASP-y exterior belied my excitement. I wanted to jump up and belly-bump the mommies next to me. I wanted to yell praise on the field like a drunken NFL fan. I could have crushed my Diet Dr. Pepper on my forehead.
Instead of causing permanent humiliation for my sweet son, and millions of dollars spent in psychotherapy, I decided to just smile and give him a discreet thumbs up.
I'm a football mom. Who knew?
What about the Enforcer? He is big and tough. He was made for football! He skipped off the field with chunks of grass attached to his little helmet!
He needed that energy directed somewhere!
Funny thing is, when he sees me watching he does a little wiggle and gives me the I Love You sign. He's six, and it is precious!
So, I admit it, I've become the mommy I used to make fun of!
If you see me yelling on the sidelines, challenging other mommies to an arm-wrestling match, or painting my face & belly the team colors, pull me aside and smack me!
I'm a football mom. Who knew?
What about the Enforcer? He is big and tough. He was made for football! He skipped off the field with chunks of grass attached to his little helmet!
He needed that energy directed somewhere!
Funny thing is, when he sees me watching he does a little wiggle and gives me the I Love You sign. He's six, and it is precious!
So, I admit it, I've become the mommy I used to make fun of!
If you see me yelling on the sidelines, challenging other mommies to an arm-wrestling match, or painting my face & belly the team colors, pull me aside and smack me!
A small shout out to Fussy's alma mater....U.T. Vols.
I'll smack you alright. Smack you with some high five for showing spirit and supporting those boys for all their efforts regardless of the outcome. It is important that you are heard. I am soooooooooo proud of you and the growth that you have displayed this season, dipite the adversities.
Posted by: Mommy 2.0 | October 09, 2007 at 01:47 PM
YAY! I've never been a competitive person, I never even been slightly athletically inclined. So I too, am amazed at how into my boy's games I get. However, I still threaten Sporty Boy that I'm going to place a sticker on his helmet "Don't Hurt My Baby!"
Posted by: Honeybell | October 09, 2007 at 01:54 PM
LOL! I love getting into sports unfortunately my 4y/o princess is more into ballet at the moment. Love the Vols pic! HA
Posted by: Jennifer | October 09, 2007 at 04:48 PM
I don't recall telling you that you could use my body for the above Vols picture.
Posted by: Christine | October 09, 2007 at 05:30 PM
Sorry to hear the yucky queasies are here. That was one of my least favorite parts... the others being the headaches, the backaches, and the leg cramps. But lets not talk about that.
Thanks for the laugh with the video clip! I love that one, too.
And I'm a soccer mom this year for the first time. First time in team sports. I dreaded it - until I saw him having so much fun. I'm with you - it brings out the fan in me!
Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Jennifer | October 09, 2007 at 05:51 PM
Football RAWKS!! My dream was to be the first woman in the NFL, however, I was an early bloomer and that ruined by athleticism. Oh wait, I wasn't athletic to begin with! Well, I can always cheer for my Steelers. (I grew up in PA too.) Hope the queasies are better. Luv ya, Fussy!
Posted by: Heather | October 09, 2007 at 08:06 PM
Congratulations on your successful conversion to football mom-hood...you should be OH so proud!
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Posted by: bradley egel | October 09, 2007 at 09:39 PM
I love me some football darling! I can't wait until my son starts playing.
However, as cute as your are, you might want to consider waxing your chest the next time you decide to paint it for a game...
Wink, wink.
Posted by: Redneck Mommy | October 09, 2007 at 10:23 PM
Oh yeah! I'm with you here Fussy! If I had been sitting near you, I would have belly bumped ya! Football rocks and so do the Vols!
Posted by: Sonya | October 10, 2007 at 07:24 AM
This is so fun! I worry about my boys playing football, especially when they are older. But having discovered that Shark Boy is a freakin' amazing cross country runner, I quickly found myself thinking "if only that kid there would trip or get a cramp.." Oh the shame!
Posted by: Amy | October 10, 2007 at 08:33 AM
Girlfriend,
You RAWK!!!!!!!!!!!! I just found your blog today (courtesy of Meredith at Likemerchant Ships). I have been reading through your past posts. I have laughed so hard that my monkeys came to see what I was laughing about. I tried to explain it to them. They DID NOT get it. I guess it is a mom thing.
Thanks for lighting up my day. I have been down for a week or so and your blog is just a great find!!
Keep up the funny.
Posted by: Tasha | October 10, 2007 at 04:02 PM
Yes, I often have to eat my own words myself. I find they go down quite well with a Screwdriver or Lemon Drop.
My youngest is probably destined to play pee wee football. I don't know how I'll handle seeing him knocked down. Ack! Probably handle it with MORE screwdrivers and lemon drops.
Posted by: Queen of Shake-Shake | October 10, 2007 at 04:42 PM
Fussy,
Your Vols, Phillip Fulmer, look alike contest was most impressive. Especially right after the fashion tips.
Your in the SEC. We will have to talk smack next week. Roll Tide.
Busy Dad
Posted by: Busy Dad Mumbles | October 13, 2007 at 12:06 AM