Pop Culture- handle with care. A tiny bit can be tasty, but too much is down right poisonous! Let's take a look at some of Pop Culture's messages that, if believed, can easily ruin your life!
How to Ruin your Life in 3 Easy Steps~ Pop Culture Style
1) More Money = More Happiness. Be sure to spend lots of time fantasizing about how much better life would be if you had more money. Picture your hair flying back gracefully as you drive that convertible Mercedes. How impressed the ladies at church will be when Hubs gets that matching stainless steel kitchen set. And, of course, how much better the kids will be when all their desires can be fulfilled.
In the mean time, there will be a huge disappointment with your real life. You will look at your own life with disdain and disappointment. Instead of feeling ashamed by your status, use the feeling to motivate Hubs.
Start a constant refrain of motivational talks with Hubs. Tell him of your feelings of disappointment of how he provides for the family. After enough time, he will either get a second job, start selling crack, or file divorce papers. Either way, it is most important to share all of your feelings. Embrace your truth!
2) Being More Beautiful = More Happiness. Don't just Fight the Frump, go on an all out beauty transformation. When you get out of the shower, go over every flaw as you dress. Develop an unnatural obsession with the shape, texture and feel of your thighs. Know in your heart that if you could just control those extra jiggles, you would be happy. Complain often to friends about your thighs in hopes they will soothe your ego. This will work especially well when you complain to friends who are heavier than you.
Start saving money for plastic surgery. Watch Dr. 90210 and Nip/Tuck faithfully. Dream about how much happier you will be when your nose is straightened and your implants are in. When you recover from your surgery, start saving for the next. You'll be surprised to learn the elation over surgery doesn't last long. Get on a 5 year plan and schedule new procedures every year. Then you'll really feel happy!
3) New Marriage = New Happiness. Start keeping a mental list of all your Hubby's faults. Notice how the men on your favorite shows are so much nicer, more helpful and more loving. Never mind the fact that these shows are fiction, just become mildly disappointed by the Big-Lug on your ouch.
Start fantasizing about how happy you will be with someone new. Someone who doesn't have all those annoying habits. Someone who doesn't do things that annoy you just to spite you! Because you know he leaves those hairs in the sink just to make you mad.
Brush aside concerns about the children and affects of divorce in them. Tell yourself that children are marvelously adaptable, and if you are happy, they will be happy, too. Focus in on research that states a divorce is healthier for kids than growing up in a household with constant conflict. See? It's for the children!
Never mind the fact that you are starting all the conflict. That's not important. You wouldn't have to start it if he would just do what you want!
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After you master theses three skills, you will be on your way to Pop Culture Diva status. Enjoy the fall-out!
That is hilarious. I am on my way or on the right track any way. While I save up for the major surgeries, I am having lots of botox and restalyn shot into my face.
Also, you are so right. Why can't I find a super hero like Peter Petrelli??? I know they are out there.
Finally, for sure, it is about time hubby stops complaining and takes the second job. My gosh, who is going to pay for all the work I need done? Surely not me. I had four kids after all, isn't that enough work for a lifetime??? LOL
Posted by: MyStarbucks | October 25, 2007 at 09:40 AM
Ohh...the dreams I have had before about more money, movie star husbands and dragging the kids across the globe. I have thought of lipo more times then not but bottom line is....there's always something I will hate about myself...
Personally, I would pick Tim Taylor in "Home Improvement". Luckily, I pretty much have that already. Laughter is what feeds my soul. Thank goodness my family is seriously demented and I laugh all the time!!!
I love your post....I think you are hilariously helpful!!!
www.partyingon.blogspot.com
Posted by: Krissy | October 25, 2007 at 10:10 AM
fallout, indeed!
I pray daily that I am raising my daughter properly, to avoid these trappings!
Blessings,
karla
Posted by: Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven | October 25, 2007 at 10:42 AM
Hey now, you are having a Photoshop festival goin' on here! I'm jealous...will that ruin my life to?;)
Posted by: Nap Warden | October 25, 2007 at 01:33 PM
Hey, I think I'm up for the challenge of having a lot of money AND being happy with life too.
Posted by: Heather | October 25, 2007 at 02:45 PM
I think maybe I might be up for that special challenge, too! Unfortunately, I'd probably be a big jerk. (Snorts!)
Posted by: Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants | October 25, 2007 at 02:53 PM
Go Fussy! Yep, definitely agree with you in regards to ruining the marriage. However, my thought was if I play the lotto AND win; all the things I could do with that $$$. I'd help some of my missionary friends. (and of course myself) While I'm not necessarily thrilled with the shape of my body I know surgeries are not the way to go. :)
God Bless, hope the pregnancy is going well.
-G
Posted by: Gail | October 25, 2007 at 08:14 PM
Are you trying to say the million dollars, boob job, and younger nw husband won't bring me happiness? Darn it!
;)
Posted by: Summer | October 26, 2007 at 12:43 AM
I just lurve your photoshopping skillz.
And...you stole my boyfriend...Julian.
hee hee
Posted by: ~JJ! | October 26, 2007 at 06:22 AM
*standing and applauding*
Wonderful post! If more women would just stop obsessing over the smoke and mirrors that Hollywood sets up for us and just enjoyed what they have right in front of them, this world would be a better place.
Besides that, having it all is boring and unfulfilling. A perfect body takes all day long to maintain. A perfect hubby would make me insane because I'm not perfect and I would resent him for being better than me. Having every need met whenever it arose would take the challenges out of life...and I like a good challenge.
Imperfection brings some spice and colour to our lives. I would rather have my imperfect body that my husband loves, have my imperfect hubby that I love, and have our financial difficulties that allow us to learn to rely on God and not ourselves. It's better for our souls.
Posted by: Valerie | October 26, 2007 at 11:09 AM
Well done, Fussy.
Great blog.
I especially love your photo with the nip/tuck guys!
Posted by: themommykelly | October 26, 2007 at 01:09 PM
You're such a subversive!! I love it!
Posted by: MammaLoves | November 09, 2007 at 10:04 AM
This has me totally cracked up. I think I already do all of these things! LOL
Posted by: kathylynn | November 14, 2007 at 08:46 AM