Fussy's Five Ways to Spoil Your Children

Five Handy Ways to Spoil Your Children

1) Spend more money than you make to give your children everything their hearts desire. Tell yourself that you do this because you want to give them a happy childhood. If all their friends have it, it would be wrong not to give them the same things. Even though the more you buy for them, the more they complain of boredom.

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2) Schedule every free moment with 'enrichment'. If they get bored, make sure to fill their time with every possible activity possible. You may also want to get a second job to cover the cost. Hey, it's for the kids, right?

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3) Give constant praise and compliments. Constantly work to reinforce your children's self-esteem. Lavish praise and compliments of all kinds. Tell your children how special, smart and wonderful they are with out any effort put forth.

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4) Always take your children's side, no matter what. When any problem arises in your child's life be sure to always take the position that your child is a victim of other's misdeeds. 

Childhood squabbles? Tell your child how awful the other child is and call the offenders parents and let them have it!

Teacher is mean? March up to the principle and file a complaint.

Be sure to disregard any evidence that refutes your position!

Let 'em have it, Mamma!

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5) Take away all chances your children have for personal growth. Take away the opportunity your children have to overcome obstacles and for learning to tolerate frustration and delay gratification. Look at childhood as a time of pure bliss and without responsibilities. Give your child the childhood you wished you received.

The best way to remove all opportunities for growth is be a proud Helicopter Parent and hover above your children ready to take away all stress!

(dubuque.K12.ia.us)

Enjoy the fallout from these tips!

Love, Fussy

PS- Hey, Friends of Fussy, notice all those little hyperlinks randomly put in the text? They each link to a parenting article that I recommend. Why put them in? Because I love you, of course.

Comments

[Siobhan]

Yo Fussy, I count 5. Trying to sway us with your mind tricks? It won't work on me!

[Mackenzie's Momma]

uh, fussy? I'm seeing 5 tips, not the double 4. though I have to wonder how comfortable that bed is i mean come on there is a giant hole in between the seats! ;-)

[jenni]

Wow, Fussy, you and my MIL went to the same parenting school. You must remember her. She's was the one the teacher was always calling on to say "do it like SHE does." She lived these rules. All 1,2,3,4,4 of them.

[Veronica]

4 is a nice number. I like 4.

Enrichment sounds like something I should do to make money, not something I would have to spend money on.

[Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants]

I swear y'all, '#4' and "#5" are both #4. ;)

This shall be known as the infamous post I called '4 ways' but gave '5' won't it?

Mwah!

[Nancy]

You nailed it. All 4/5 recipes for a perfectly spoiled child!

[Sister Honey Bunch]

I am so on your parenting team. And thanks for the extra 4. :)

[Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants]

Sometimes the extra '4' is just right, eh? ;)

[fullheartandhands mama]

You are too funny! Thanks for the laugh. I'll be back to visit your blog. Fun stuff.

[Beachmom]

fabulous fabulous!! ESPECIALLY the FIRST #4!!! and trust me, there are A LOT of spoiled kids at my children's school based on that one!!

[Brea in Texas]

Goodness, Mrs F, I wonder if we went to parenting school together. :) This is pretty much the anti-thesis to our parenting philosophy, except you forgot the third #4:

'Make sure you children never have to lift a finger: Never make them work if they don't want to, and make sure to never hold them responsible for anything in their life. This makes it that much easier for them to transition into life in the real world, and their future employers and spouses will thank you.'

~Brea, the tinymama

[alex]

That is a good 3rd #4, tinymama.

Great Post Fuss!

[Michelle]

You've been giving these tips to some of the parents at the play areas in the malls haven't you?

[Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants]

Ok, now we officially have 5! ;)

[Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven]

i've said it before Fussy, and I'll say it again, you've got some FUNNY and SHARP readers. Their comments crack me up as much as your posts.

I love this post. So so so so true. And thanks for giving me permission to be a mean mom.

Blessings,
K

[Andrea]

Methinks all your readers sound smart as the GOP Texican over here!

And it's not being a mean mom, it's actually doing the world a favor by making the little boogers into productive citizens, instead of into spermination factories without financial security or any responsibilities or accountability. Your blog has prepped me to go write a bunch of Congress Members angry letters today.

Hugs!

[Army Wife]

That 's pretty good!

[Kim]

There are some mothers in my son's daycare that must read this list as their bible.

[Jennifer]

Oh this sounds like some parents at my kids schools. No 6 yr old should have an ipod. I can't let the kids read this, Bri will want the princess bed.
Oh and you should have added that "having a sensory issue/speech delay is NOT the same as being spoiled. Somtimes its easier to put out three different cups of juice than endure the 10th tantrum at 9am"

[yazoo]

Don't laugh. Here is a link to a real kid like that. The first video. I'm sure you have all seen it though.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/01/04/this-weeks-must-see-vide_n_79615.html

[Burgh Baby's Mom]

Holy smokes does my Toddler need that bed, if only so that I can sleep in it every night. She can just sleep on the floor, or in the dresser where she sleeps now.

Ultimate helicopter parent that I've encountered? When I had a recent college grad interviewing for a position that reported to me. Mommy called to offer her recommendation then later to chide me when her little princess didn't get the job.

[SummerSummer]

Yikes! That princess room scared me. I couldn't even read the post because that carriage bed wouldn't let me go.

[justmylife]

OK, I must have gotten here after you fixed the numbers. I know a lot of parents who strongly agree with these rules. And I also think the comments are a great read too! They just add to the whole Fussy Experience. Thanks for the great posts.

[Cindy Swanson]

As the husband of a school administrator, I can heartily concur with these suggestions...particularly number 4 (although they're all good.) Does it ever occur to some parents that their children could be in the wrong?

Very sage advice.

[Hydes Like Us]

Another genius post Fussy! Sorry, I've been awol. It's been a crazy few weeks. You're funnier than ever!

[Christina]

These are all good points, but #4 is one that really makes me angry. Too many people think their kids are perfect and never do any wrong. I've seen it happen with a lot of kids, especially my feral neighbors next door.

If anything is destroyed in my yard from their kids playing, they immediately deny it and get hostile and defensive, yelling at us for accusing their kids of such a thing, when it was clearly their kids' friends who did it! The last time we asked their kids not to play in our yard because they were knocking things over, the parents called the police on us.

[Cheryl W.]

It sounds like you are describing my boss's adult daughter. She makes very good money (as much as me and my husband combined), but my boss has to control her checking account and pay her bills. She and her teenage son live with my boss. The son is being raised just like she was. It sickens me that this boy can do not wrong. He gets in trouble in school and it is the teachers fault. And to top it off the principal doesn't like him either. I am raising a son that is the same age and I work hard to instill responsibility and accountability in him. I fully believe that the spoiled brats all grown up are a large part of what is wrong with society now.

[Loralee]

THIS ROCKS THE HOUSE MRS. PANTS.

I wish more people felt this way.

[Christine]

Wow, I am so down with this whole list...there are little monsters being raised out there, who will someday be big monsters.

[tanyetta]

great post!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anglophile Football Fanatic]

Amen sister! And, sadly I've known far too many of these parents. I would have to add in the not allowing them to get bumps and bruises. I know several moms who FREAK OUT when their kids have accidents. I just tell the boy wonder to "Suck it up. Be a man."

[nancypants]

Oh Fussy. I love this post. Good stuff sista Fuss-a-lot!

[Gina]

Excellent post Fussy! Sadly I have a family member doing every single one of these mistakes. I cringe to think of what will happen when real life smacks the kid upside the head.

[Heather]

I think those are the exact tips in Mrs. Spears upcoming book.

[Redneck Mommy]

Darn it! That's where I have been going wrong! I don't hoooover enough.

Nor have I a job to buy them all they desire.

Thanks for enlightening me. I will be sure to rectify this.

Once I can get out of my house....

[Karen]

Now I am feeling woefully inadequate as a parent. And here all this time I thought I discplined BECAUSE I cared. My misguided intentions have probably scarred my children for life.

[Alicia]

Great post, Fussy!

[HRH]

I kinda like the princess room. But that is my inner-defense mechanism against all these boys...

I couldn't agree with you more. I recently sat at a birthday party in the midst of an extreme themed party, catered luncheon and 30 children and watched a child who had everything his/her heart could think of except what he/she really needed. Very sad eyes. Very sad situation.

[mamafabulosity]

Is it really spoiling my child if I buy her that $47,000 bed? Really? But I want it!

[VDog]

You rock. No wonder you have four kids! You know what you're doing! #5 will be no exception, I'm sure!

[Carrie]

"Helicpoter Parent" that, is too funny. I think I'm sorta guilty of that at times! :) Thanks Fussy!

[mom2fur]

Re: #3. I remember a comic from many years ago. A kid comes home from camp, looking miserable, carrying all kinds of ribbons and trophies...best this, best that. All of them for silly things like, "fastest to tie shoes in morning" or "came really close to fourth place." I'm making these up, since it's been years...but the punchline of it all was one parent saying to the other:
"Maybe we shouldn't have sent him to self-esteem camp!"
And #2: I have a feeling a lot of those 'enriched' kids would have preferred to have a few hours each week to just hang out! I have four kids of my own, and right from the start my husband and I planned that, besides school and religion class, they would have ONE activity per season! Just think of poor little Tiffany Jo--Ballet on Monday, Tap on Tuesday, Karate on Wednesday...and so on.
When the heck does little Tiffany Jo actually get to play????

[Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants]

Just to clear the air- Extravagant beds for Mommies is a thumbs up!

Oh, Sleep-number or Tempurpedic people send me a bed.

Or I'll save my pennies for about 675 more years.....

[Sarcastic Mom]

Whew! Good thing I keep Braden locked in the closet most of the day.

He should turn out fine! :-)

[Qtpies7~]

Oh, so NOW I found you! You! You are the anonymous reader who chewed me out about my entry for the Meanest Mom! Who else would dare demand that I explain myself for punishing my children for not getting A's?!
Well, you can't hind behind that "Anonymous" anymore Miss Fussypants!
Or did you send one of your minions to do it?
I shall NOT spoil my children. I want to be the Meanest Mom. Anyone can spoil their child. Not everyone can wear the belt for Meanest Mom. And I will wear it one day. Even if I have to have more than my seven kids so that I can perfect my mean ways.

[Reach For The Stars]

I love your post. Your blog is great, I am new to it and I am looking forward to visiting often. Thanks.

[Amy]

You want to join my mom's group? I think you would be a great voice of reason, my friend!

[slackermommy]

I can think of quite a few parents I would love to anonymously send this to.

[feefifoto]

Thank you for your concise and intelligent advice. I'm going to keep this piece to wave in my kids' faces, even though it surely will have no effect until they have kids of their own. Hope I live long enough to hear them admit that I was sometimes right.

[Di]

Completely cut off the parent of that offending child and badmouth her to everyone you know. Not that I speak from personal experience, of course.