Fight the Frump- Just Say No to White Pants

Friends of Fussy, Just say NO to white pants!

Every Spring, fashion editors say the same thing.

"Crisp White Pants- Your Spring wardrobe staple!"

"White pants = White hot fashion!"

Why do they continually insult our intelligence?

We know better.

We know the ugly truth about white pants.

The Dirt on White Pants~

• They show parts of our anatomy meant only for our husband and Ob/Gyn.
• They allow bystanders the knowledge of what brand underwear you wear.
• They get filthy within minutes of dressing. Especially good at picking up any dirt on a seat.
• Small children will be strangly drawn to wipe their noses, hands and  mouths on any pair within 100 feet.
• They should be banned from your wardrobe if you are over 100lbs or a size 2.
• They only look supa-fab on models, professional athletes and Marines.

Many women feel comfortable in these horrid articles of clothing. These women sadly lack the ability to see themselves from behind.

Many think while wearing their trusty pants, that they look like this...

Sadly, many women look like this when sporting the white pants...

Alright, alright, there is some middle ground. Some of you may be able to rock the white pants with style. More power to ya, Sistahs! Just remember your Spanx in a nude shade. Leave the white granny panties, Leopard print thongs, and ~shudders~ total lack of under-roos for a different outfit. For the rest of us, we'll stick to our much loved, slimming, dark neutral pants and capris.

In closing, I humbly submit that white pants should be banned because the vast majority of women are unable to use the responsibly. Thank you.

Now it is the Friends of Fussy's turn. Reading all these Frump Fighter's wonderful posts is always the highlight of my weekend! I'm excited to see what fun ideas we'll have this week! ~Remember to link your post's URL, use the graphic and link back here!~

Have Fun!

Love, Fussy

Comments

[karla ~ looking towards heaven]

yeah... um... as much as I like to THINK I look like those models, it's more like the last photo.

I'll pass on the white now, thankyouverymuch.

xo ~K

[Mackenzie's Momma]

I am, unfortunantly, FORCED to wear white pants in my line of work(why I have NO idea). When I enter the ring as a dairy showman, I am REQUIRED to be wearing white pants. UGH!

Other than that I pass, totally, completely, utterly PASS.

[The Nester]

That was a fantastic read, and the photos...I love your work!

[Sarah]

Um, white yoga pants don't count, right? I guess I'll just have to keep those in the only-when-I'm-NOT-leaving-the-house pile. Isn't white supposed to be only after Labor Day anyway? Or did I miss the memo about that?

[MizFit]

I was far tooo messy for white pants pre-toddler.

there's no chance now...

[Heather]

Yeah, I gave up white pants in college. Not that I ever had a lot of them.

Seriously, girlfriend, only for you would I post the pics I did today. I don't photograph well anymore. Don't know what the deal is. I look pasty white and 60 lbs overweight. Oh. That's reality. My bad.

[Kendra]

I have to say that I *heart* white pants.
Love the post. Those pics were great ~ Gave me a good laugh this morning!

[Sarah]

How did you get that picture of me in white pants? (the last one of course!) haha.

Have a great day. I'm headed to the Y. must work out. must work out. must work out. summer is coming. summer is coming. summer is coming.
I have to keep telling myself that anyway.

[Daisy]

White pants are for gals with a flawless figure and martial artists only, LOL... I hear ya!

And you CAN wear white after Labor Day - although there is a lot of discussion somewhere (can't remember where I was reading this nonsense) about that not being true in the south??! Whatever... point is, just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD...

[Gina]

Preach it Fussy! IMO the very light khaki pants available this time of year are just as bad.

[Valarie]

So True, So True

If you don't know how to wear white stay away from it. White should only be worn with nude undergarments, if white has to be worn at all.

[Nancy]

^5, you nailed that one.

And any light colored, khaki, pale yellow, et. just aren't rocking on skin tight dimpled butts!

[Karen]

I will never forget the day my mother wore white shorts to the amusement park. With her Garfield pawprint underwear. (It was the 80's, and mom was ?)

So much wrong with that scene. I was a teenager and still haven't gotten over it.

[Baby Mamma (aka Tamra)]

White pants scare me. Any light colored pants scare me! Run, run!

[Laura Leigh]

AMEN, Fussy! The pics are too funny.

[sue]

I'm a delurking FOF..nonblogging variety...My fight the frump tip: I have found the BEST website called MakeupAlley.com. It rates every makeup product, skincare,eye cream, etc. It like having your best girlfriends at your fingertips to rave or complain about makeup products.You have to register but it nice to read reviews of women in your age group with similar coloring, skin type etc. I go to this site before I decide to purchase any product! Ok..back to lurking....

[fullheartandhands mama]

I wholeheartedly support the idea of a ban on white pants. Yuck!

[Darla]

SPOT ON SISTAH! Where do I sign the form to ban white pants? ;)

[Meredith from Merchant Ships]

This has to be your most cleverly written Fight The Frump ever!

[Anne Glamore]

I would respectfully submit that white jeans should be an exception to the white pants rule (ducks incoming tomatoes, which will stain crisp white jeans).

Also, note to the lady in front of me at Jazzercise: your white exercise pants are WAY too sheer. I signed up for an exercise class, not an anatomy lesson. Thank you.

[Joy]

Uggg!! Honestly I don't think that J Lo is looking too hot- the pants are too tight! Cute Post!

[Christine @ Serenity How?]

Oh my eyes! My eyes are burning! Make it go away! LOL!

No white pants for me. It would be considered a cruelty to humankind if I went out in white pants. :)

[Alli- Mrs. Fussypants]

Anne- Some well made white jeans? Depends on the poundage/cellulit ratio. ;)
For me? Nah, couldn't do it!

[Sadie]

Even in my youthful years I never wore white pants!! They're a horrible idea and I curse the man that came up with them! Well, not curse...but anyway...

White pants...*shivers*

[Melody]

I hereby solemnly swear that I will never wear the white pants (unless I become a size 2 - HA!).

Great post. I've never been a fan of white slacks, when black is MUCH more slimming...

I'm back to Fighting the Frump after a two week hiatus!

[CourtneyRyan]

Hi Fussy,
I have to agree for the most part that most people should just STAY AWAY...Except I had a pair of super fabulous white slacks and I'm not a size 2 nor am I 100lbs. (Yes, I did have the booty to wear them and always wore them with the flesh toned undies)

Sadly, I left them in a hotel room in Holland. I was very sad that they are gone forever and was thinking about them recently, but then looked at my booty in the mirror. Lets just say its currently NOT "white pants acceptable" so I won't be replacing them.

Thanks for the great photos!

[Michelle]

I see other women in white pants and think they look fabulous. Me? Not so much. And I know that I would spill, rub up against the dirty car, have black dog hair, and get toddler jelly hands all over me within 5 minutes.

[Connie]

I must raise my hand yet again and admit that I am guilty of misusing white pants.

I am going to my closet right now to remove these pants from my wardrobe!

Thank you Fussy!

P.S. Where is the hidden camera that you have hidden in my home?

[Jane @ What About Mom?]

Am so glad to see this! My fashionista friend (who always looks FABULOUS even if she isn't quite a size 2) has the white pants and white skirts. I never have, don't even wear that many white shirts. A) not flattering, but, more importantly, B) so impractical. I got them dirty within minutes even BEFORE I had kids. Now? Forget it.

Thanks for vindicating me in a fashion sense!

[mah-meee]

Isn't that so true about white pants?? Before I had kids (and was a MUCH smaller size) I was blessed to be able to wear them. But now, NO WAY!

[Lalena]

Fussy, I love this blog...but I must confess I wear white pants. Out here in California it is fashionable and expected but you can rest easy...I wear my spanx every time!

[ali]

i embrace my decision to NEVER wear white pants. there is just no good to come of it. i do, sometimes, wear this really pretty white eyelet skirt i have. but it's sooo not the same thing. :)

[jill]

wow this has gotten really popular.

[Lisa]

I agree--no one should EVER wear white pants!

[dcrmom]

LOL! The irony, oh the irony. You must go read my post Miss Fussy. I swear I wrote it before I read yours!!!

[HRH]

Fight on Fussy! You are so right. And that picture of that lady is SO WRONG. Nightmares.

[Betsy]

That was great!
I wonder if JLow will get back into those. I am sure she will being all famous and having the perks that go with it.

[Alicia]

I'm blind! Nobody looks good in white pants-not even J-Lo. EEyuk!

[Sadge]

It brings to mind a comment overheard by a very dear friend of mine while bending over in her white pants - a pair of teenage boys behind her remarked, "You could show home movies on that!" Lesson learned. Never again.

[Alli- Mrs. Fussypants]

Hilarious!

[Caitlin Domanico Photography]

hahahahhahaha!

[Catherine]

What a laugh! I am so glad now that I never let my mother talk me into those tight, white slacks she wanted me to buy when I was 15 years old. Not when I am 15 and not ever, I say.

[moosh in indy.]

I don't wear white pants for the sheer fact that I always sit in crap in them.Nevermind that they look hideous.

[Carrie]

Okay, J-Lo has an amazing body, but tell me, when she sits down, where does that butt go?

Yeah, the only white pants around here belong to my 4-year-old.

[Carolyn]

I just found you and I already love you!

Adding you to my favorites!

[Marnie]

Well, although I do meet your "qualifications" to wear white pants, I seldom do. I have some white jeans and I wear those on occasion, but I only really look decent in white if I have some suntan coloration going on. ;)
LOVED the post--too funny. Very witty!

[Beck]

I don't wear white ANYTHING. I think the last white thing I wore was my wedding dress.

[Carolyn]

I just made you my Blog of the Week!!

http://thebarberbunch.blogspot.com/

Great Blog. Keep up the good work!

Carolyn

[nancypants]

Oh my gosh. Albert Einstein came back from the dead just to see some really tight white pants on a bubble butt! I never thought he was that shallow.

[The Downtown Boutique]

Oh yeah! Any time I wear my white skirt or a white top, the spills, wipes, sloshes, stains, and all other grossities seem to find their way to me!

While we're at it, can we say something about wearing a colored bra under a white top? Please don't do it. It's not attractive, nor is it modest.

And stop wearing the "wife-beaters" (please excuse the expression)! I think those are meant for old men who sit on porches, smoking cigars, and talking about "the good ol' days".