Pish Posh ~Milkbreath & Margaritas Babysits
Allow! I'm guest posting today for Fussy and I don't know how to photoshop my head onto anything. I don't know how I got here inside this pretty blog. I'm going to use lots of pictures, and some that will make Fussy want to gouge her eyeballs out. But it won't be frumpy!
I live over at Milk Breath and Margaritas and blog about working mom stuff and marriage and shoes and raising children and raising **** (We're not suposed to curse here darnit. How can I talk without that?)
I'm doing a fashion post of sorts here today, inspired by a recently downloaded photo wherein I noticed my strong resemblence to Victoria Posh Beckham Spice.
Why yes, that's me pushing a baby car in cut-out wedgie stilettos. Lipstick red patent leather ones. Very Posh!
Same hair too. Hum.
I feel compelled at this stage to prove I'm really not very Posh-like, despite the evidence to the contrary above. Allow me to illustrate ways I differ from Vicki Becks.
Her boobs are younger than most of the rest of her body and just a tad out of proportion to her size, which is minus 2.
My boobs are the same age as the rest of me and slightly out of proportion to my body too, but in the opposite way. Mine also are subject to the laws of gravity (stupid gravity), while Vicks are seemingly not. But I'm three times bigger than Posh in every other way!
See? No giant bazongas here!
Posh wears a ton of paint and never, ever smiles. She probably has braces just like me but we will never know.
Despite the silver lining, I will smile for a photo.
Posh is married to a very sexy guy. Until he speaks. How sexy-destroying is a high-pitched voice? Plus, he dresses weird.
I'm married to a sexy guy who never dresses weird. And doesn't have a girl voice.
Imagine what my well-tailored husband probably looks like. (I'm saving him the humiliation of being pictured in such a silly post as this.)
Sometimes, Posh herself dresses a bit differently.
I, on the other hand, while never dressing like a Jetson, do break some Fight the Frump Rules. Sorry Fuss! I do skinny jeans. I do white pants. I do shoes that would make Fussy cry. Like these:
Previously pictured above pushing a baby car, I *heart* these shoes!
Posh does have my dream bag - a Hèrmes Birkin. If you've not heard of it don't Google it. You'll want one and it's like buying a car to hang from that little crook in your arm. A nice car. There is really no excuse for owning this bag. Well, not one that I've thought of yet.
And Posh makes me giggle when she says that she wears stilettos all the time, everywhere everyday, because she can't concentrate in flats. That's why she never goes to the gym. She "can't get her head around the footwear."
Yeah! Me too! That's why I'm never at the gym! It's the dad gum footwear! Who could concentrate wearing Nikes?
I leave you with my own highly impractical Fight the Frump tip (Fussy cannot be held responsible for this one): Buy a pair of sky high rockin' fun heels! And find ways to wear them. Your walk will be sexier, your legs will look longer, and you'll feel like a girl (as opposed to a boy, a frump, or a super-tired-spit-up-on-mom). And you'll be able to (or maybe you'll have to) concentrate!
Smootches!
I totally agree!
Even though I can not pull of skinny jeans such as you can...
High heels just makes a girl feel like a girl...
I have a pair of Dominatrix meets Librarian ones...oooooh...I stomp around something fierce in those. They are impractical and a little weird and I LOVE EM! great post
Posted by: alex | June 04, 2008 at 08:28 AM
Totally agree on the shoes. Next week I'll post my rack of shoes which include several pairs with 4" (or more) heels...
Sorry Fussy I love those red shoes too!
Posted by: CourtneyRyan369 | June 04, 2008 at 08:45 AM
You crack me up! I have braces too but don't do them nearly so well as you do!
Posted by: Emily | June 04, 2008 at 08:52 AM
Amy, I adore you :-)
Love those shoes, they are totally hot sexy momma!! I cannot rock the skinny jeans because my curves.. well, I look like sausage overstuffed into it's casing. Ugh. But I rock skirts and dresses every day so I think I could super pull of hot sexy shoes.
Hi Fussy! I love you too!!
Posted by: rachel | June 04, 2008 at 09:03 AM
Yes! The missing puzzle piece... sexy shoes to chase my 2-year old in! At least I'll look cute along with frazzled :)
Posted by: Regina | June 04, 2008 at 09:04 AM
Girl, you are rockin' those braces. I'm betting Posh's people will be calling soon to get the name of your "braces smiling coach". They'll want to know if he/she is available to travel with Vicks to all of her engagements just like her make up artist and hair stylist. If I were you, I'd refuse and make her find her own coach!
Posted by: Kim | June 04, 2008 at 09:23 AM
oh i just loved this post.... you have such a great sense of humor and you are absolutely gorgeous... and those red shoes are fabulous...I never buy heels because I feel I am too tall...hmmmm... I thinking I need to go shopping today for some new heels...LOL..
thanks for the smiles....
Posted by: Barb@spotlis | June 04, 2008 at 10:14 AM
Love it! i love sporting the heels! And true that it makes you feel sexier!
Posted by: Reynie | June 04, 2008 at 10:51 AM
I am wearing mine now :)
Posted by: Valarie Lea | June 04, 2008 at 11:01 AM
I'm going to trot off right now & grab me a pair of them shoes. Just as soon as I drop a pound or two. We don't want the heels popping of while I'm strutting my stuff. Love your post!!!
Posted by: Manic Mom | June 04, 2008 at 11:22 AM
Love it! You had me laughing out loud with Posh's gym excuse. Just what I needed this afternoon.
Posted by: Amy | June 04, 2008 at 11:23 AM
I'll totally recognize you on Friday if you're rocking those red shoes!
Posted by: In the Trenches of Mommyhood | June 04, 2008 at 12:17 PM
I heart those shoes too! And this post.
Posted by: slackermommy | June 04, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Woohoo! Look at those shoes!! I don't have any supa-fab fun shoes like that!! You're making me want to get those!
Great post!
Posted by: Sarah | June 04, 2008 at 01:29 PM
Looove your post. *runs off to do a search for some smokin' hot shoes*
Posted by: me | June 04, 2008 at 01:30 PM
Okay. Those are some SERIOUSLY rocking shoes. :-)
Posted by: Jo-Lynne | June 04, 2008 at 03:52 PM
Okay, that looks really funny. Make that SERIOUSLY rawkin' shoes. ;-)
Posted by: Jo-Lynne | June 04, 2008 at 03:53 PM
Love the post, Amy! I think your smile is WAY better than Posh's, even if there is no evidence that she has one.
Smootchies back at ya!
Posted by: Heather | June 04, 2008 at 03:54 PM
I was so in to shoes - when I was an Uptown Office Girl, many, many years ago! Luv your blog - you should join Entrecard Drops!~
Cindi @ Moomettesgram's Musings & Mama Mentor Blog
Posted by: Cindi-Moomettesgram | June 04, 2008 at 05:34 PM
OK! I adore you! This post is absolutely fabulous! I just loved it! And I have to say... without any bit of hesitation... your smile is WAY BETTER than Ms. Victoria Beckham! Thanks for the great read! It put a HUGE smile on my face!
Best,
Audrey
Posted by: Audrey - Pinks & Blues | June 04, 2008 at 05:36 PM
Oh, I so agree with you on the shoes! And they are great for the calf muscles. Who needs the gym? And you ARE going to email me back with where you GOT those shoes, right?
Steph
Posted by: Adventures In Babywearing | June 04, 2008 at 07:33 PM
Love the shoes AND the jeans!! I need to update my wardrobe and get me some straight leg jeans (again, can't believe they came back!) They look sleek and sexy! Especially with the red shoes!!
Posted by: Delilah Willett | June 04, 2008 at 09:59 PM
LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoes!!!
Posted by: Mrs. Kitty | June 05, 2008 at 02:04 AM
You are SO posh!
Posted by: Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest | June 05, 2008 at 12:09 PM
WOW You look like Victoria but you're better looking!! I had the Posh hairdoo too last year but pregnancy has made my hair grow fast!!
Posted by: Mrs Mogul | June 05, 2008 at 12:56 PM
Those are some gorgeous shoes. And you DO look a lot like Posh. You also look a disconcertingly huge amount like one of my cousins. I don't remember her having any cute lil' kids, though...
Posted by: Beck | June 05, 2008 at 01:17 PM
You know---I've always noted that about Posh too. The gal hardly ever smiles. What has she got to be so grumpy about? Her life looks pretty fabulous. Her husband is hot & looks fabulous in tighty-whiteys. She's rich & can shop with no budget ever.... what the hell? If I were her, I'd be smiling all the damn time.
Posted by: Lainey-Paney | June 05, 2008 at 04:04 PM
Another difference between you and Posh, is you're beautiful.
Posted by: Ava | June 05, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Okay, I must go against Lady Fuss and admit to loving those red shoes. Supa-fab, woman! I love heels. But...I'm 5'8" barefoot, and when I wear massive heels my walk goes from elegant to frankenstein, with the towering height to match. Waaaaaah! 4" heels are a dream for me, alas. 2 1/2 though, now we're talking.
And I love your hair too. It's such a dramatic cut and it suits you perfectly.
Good fashion post!
Posted by: Val | June 11, 2008 at 10:12 AM