Fight the Frump While They Rawk That Baby Bump!

 

Oh, the joys of creating a life. In case any future mommies are reading, I will leave out the unpleasantries. This is all about still being a Hot Mama even with a baby bump!

Let's first explore the nightmare that is "Maternity Chic".

There are so many things wrong with this. First of all, those stripes and that cut will make even the skinniest gal look like she is hauling a bunch of back fat around!

Next, you will see ads for 'fashionable' maternity overalls. You may think you'll look like this...

Forgive me, Friends of Fussy, when I tell you that you would look better if you wore this...

OK, I'm sorry. I should have warned you about that. Now stop poking yourself in the eyes. Bad Fussy. 

Third, you will be inundated with clothing options that, when not pregnant, would turn your stomach.    

Hello? Bobo the Clown called and he needs his shirt back.

    

Unless one is gestating her prodgeny at the Key West Scenic Trailer Park, these are another example of insults to pregnant women. Amazingly enough these monsterous capris are listed used on ebay. ~shudders with fright~

Some retailers, whom I assume are spawns of the devil himself, have decided to try to use evil mind control methods to get women to buy "no panel" maternity jeans. Apparently ads like this will convince us that they are sexy.

Sadly, only supermodels look like that. In the middle of getting your toddler in his carseat in the minivan, those sexy maternity jeans will be around your swollen ankles.

Which will lead you to buy 'Belly Ups'.

Just say no to evil pants and the mini-suspenders you'll need to hold them up. They are just wrong, peoples!

So What Can We Wear?

Treat yourself to a simple and very chic pregnancy survival kit.

An easy to wear monochromatic chic wardrobe is a sheer joy. Be warned, you'll never stop wearing these pieces!

Find some well cut pants at Tar-chay.

Feel free to pick up some cute tops in a solid color.

Very Chic! Oh, Hawt Mama!

You may, due to hormone inebriation, be tempted to purchase a 'themed' tee. Call me and I will personally talk you down off that ledge. If you live close, I'll drive straight to you and smack you around. No Friend of Fussy shall wear anything like this-

 

There ya go, Friends of Fussy, everything you ever wanted to know about maternity fashion, but were too uninterested to ask!

And what do you get for all your torture sacrifice effort?

Did your fallopian tubes just quiver, too?

**Please link your Fight the Frump post in the comment section so we all can go read your post, too!**

Comment Game- What was the worst thing you ever wore while pregnant? I used the have black corduroy overalls. {{{slinks away embarassed}}}

Comments

[Natalie]

Great post; so funny!

[Valarie Lea]

Oh I am going to show this to my newly pregnated friend. :)

I wore (whispers) acid washed overalls shhhhhh don't tell anybody.

[Barbara J]

LOL--Oh yes, definitely the PG overalls thinking that they were so cute and comfy and then you look at them after pregnancy (and pix in them) and you're like WTF was I thinking!!! I look like a friggin house, er, I mean BARN!

[Malia]

I'm guilty of horizontal stripes. It wasn't my first choice but I was getting desparate, near the end, for some shirts and they were cheap at Target so I caved.

[Heather @ Not a DIY Life]

Being plus size and pregnant doesn't leave a lot of options. So I wore Hubby's golf shirts (hangs head in shame). I'm sorry. I won't ever do it again.

[Musings of a Housewife]

Oh dear lord, please shield my eyes from maternity overalls. Can I just say that I am SO happy that I will never have to don maternity clothes again? Great tips!!

[It All Started With a Kiss]

During my first pregnancy (twelve years ago, *GASP*) I wore a loose fitting plaid turtleneck. I looked hideous.
That last t-shirt reminds me of my blog name!

[Michelle@Life with Three]

I had a few maternity style dresses that were absolutely hideous. It must have been the pregnancy hormones, because I didn't find them hideous when I bought them.

Anywho, fight the frump with free beauty stuff! Check out the post here:

http://www.chic-critique.com/2008/08/who-doesnt-like.html

[Meghann]

ack! what happened to my comment??

so, my fight the frump isn't strictly fashion. it is more "fail with dignity intact" (don't let your jr high or high schoolers see it).

worst pregnancy fashion: cargo pants (yeah, lets make the one part of my body that didn't get huge now look huge) and at the end of my 2nd pregnancy, due to ALL the weight going straight out front, my shirts and pants stopped meeting and my belly would show if I wasn't careful (Fussy, I am sorry, but I am short and short waisted--the panelled jeans came up over my boobs, I went with the no panel ones)

[Darla - UltraBeautyBoutique]

I had this dress....that was denim and HUGE. I called it the moo-moo dress. I only wore it a few times and I felt horrible every time.

My de-frump post is: OSHA called! http://ultrabeautyboutique.com/2008/08/22/fighting-the-frump-osha-called/

[Domestic Extraordinarie]

I had this horrible sweatshirt with large vertical maroon and blue stripes (yes I said vertical and no they aren't flattering either) with a teddy bear on the front and It said Baby University or something like that. I plead the "it was so super comfy and I was so super huge it was like the only thing that fit"

[Mandy]

Never heard of Belly Ups - - who thought that up???? In my case, my bra would've just been down to my waist. I never could get those low-rise, no panel jeans to work for my big, pregnant self.

Umm, let's see, the worst thing I've worn while pregnant was probably the denim overalls...only mine had a big ol' Winnie the Pooh on them! I thought I looked so cute in them. {smacks self in head} My only defense is that I was 20 and it was my first pregnancy and I was stupid.

[Tootsie Farklepants]

I had some of those "sexy" jeans. They were actually PAINFUL! And if you need suspenders to hold your pants up via your bra then you're just trying way too hard.

[Laura]

I confess, I am one of the users of the Key West Scenic Mobile Home Park capri pants. In my defense I was too poor to buy maternity clothes, so I just borrowed what friends had. Oh, and that isn't my listing on ebay.

[Laurin]

I read through that with my mouth hanging open. Was that your intent? You got me.

And yes, now I totally want another baby after seeing that wonderful photo of the little feet. Wait, it passed.

[Kristen]

Oh my... most of that is pretty awful, but that tee shirt?? Who in the world would wear that? Eeeks!

[Michelle]

I think I managed to not look too scary until the last few weeks. I'll admit that I stopped caring what I looked like and started wearing anything that fit. Now I just have to figure out how not to be frumpy in the weeks immediately following birth. I'm definitely all about the dark sunglasses to cover my scary dark circles!

[Lisa@blessedwithgrace]

The overall crack me up. I did not wear any overalls while pregnant. Now I am very thankful for that! My worst maternity outfit was a hoodie that had wide horizontal stripes. It was bad. I wore it once, and only once. Thanks Mrs. Fussypants for the laughs and good fashion sense!

Grace is sharing her own style tips at my blog:
http://blessedwithgrace.blogspot.com/2008/08/graces-style-tip-friday.html

[lindsey]

Hrm....I often wonder why women throw all fashion rules out the window when they get pregnant.

I'm in the middle of my second pregnancy - my favorite outfits are maternity pencil skirts (dark denim), dark denim jeans and slim fitting t-shirts/long sleeve.

My rules for maternity clothes are that they have to be simple and comfortable, yet still fashionable (not to mention not making me look even bigger) - no horizontal stripes or ugly patterns. Simple, solid colors in simple, forgiving cuts.

[Jackie W transplanted Okie (Buried in Legos)]

Nails :

http://tinyurl.com/5dyjog

[ali]

whoever thought that horizontal stripes for pregnant women was a good idea should be shot.
:)

[Colleen - Mommy Always Wins]

This is great - I HATE shopping for maternity clothes, but with the little guy 18 months old now, I'm starting to feel that "baby twinge"! I didn't write a fight the frump post this week, but I want to know what's up with styling regular clothes like maternity clothes these days?!? I went shopping (by MYSELF - **SHOCK!**) the other day, looking for something to wear to a conference next week and tried on top after top that looked like maternity wear! What gives?

Its also *very* hard to find maternity pants in tall lengths. Us tall gals can't just run to Target - unless we want to look like we're waitin' for a flood! I think I own four pairs of nice maternity pants, and I wash them babies constantly while pregnant!

Great post!

[Kacie]

My dad suggested I get a pair of maternity overalls. I promptly told him he was a man and has no say in maternity fashion.

[The (Almost) Amazing Mammarino]

I wore a royal purple set of corduroy overalls that I had gotten for $1 at a consignment shop. (Hmmm . . . should've known there was a REASON they were that price!) I looked like Barney, only scarier. Sad thing was, I wore them to a function in which I was the only married, pregnant person in a sea of young, skinny coeds, and a year later they ALL remembered me because of that purple outfit!

[Kacie]

My dad suggested I get a pair of maternity overalls. I promptly told him he was a man and has no say in maternity fashion.

[Summer]

I'll admit it, I had the overall capris. It was scary.

[Trysha]

I'm pregnant now with #3 and I can proudly say I've never committed any of those maternity crimes. :::pats self on the back:::

Is it just me or aren't overalls a bad idea in general?

One gripe I do have about maternity clothes are the back ties. Really not that comfortable sitting down with a knot in your back.

I'm not allowed to shop at a place that sounds like Coles but is spelled a different way. I made another pregnant woman cry because I blurted out that there was "a whole lot of ugly happening in here." Hubby caught her putting down a "bobo the clown" shirt and leaving the store. In my defense...it was REALLY UGLY. I did her a favor.

[Kim H.]

Ooh, it had to be some super hot leggin' pants with a crinkle broomstick material tunic - and I worked "downtown" at the time, so I wore it with my commuter keds. Gosh, I was a GEEK!

[nicole]

I wore regular short overalls when pregnant with my first! I was in denial about needing maternity clothes at the time. I have to say, with each pregnancy I have been more selective with my maternity wear. I have definitely grown into wearing more fitted, sleek maternity clothes. In fact, some of my maternity clothes were cuter than my regular clothes.

[Tara]

I just finished with all that maternity wear, and am thankful. Even though I had some pretty cute stuff, I'm glad to be back to dressing around my smaller bumps. I even gave away all my maternity clothes to others who need them.

Instead of worrying about your clothes, fight the frump with some cute bracelets you can make for cheap! http://www.thewell-roundedwoman.com/2008/08/bracelet-du-jour.html

[mah-meeee]

definitely great post! i love dressing monochromatic when i'm pregnant. it looks clean, chic, and just plain pretty.

happy fight the frump, i have mine up now too!

[Wonders Never Cease]

A Hawaiian mumu dress in rainbow colors.
I can only explain it by my wacky hormones.

[MaryAnn]

I had what I thought was a fabulous black and white graphic print top, but everyone who looked at me told me I looked like a test pattern - the ladies in the front office at school would actually avert their eyes because I made them seasick.

And then there was the black background/pink and white pattern top that looked like I had spilled a box of Good 'n' Plenty all over myself - and yes, there was PLENTY of me to have spilled it on.

What I do not get is why so many maternity clothes are made of poly-you-know-what. Just the thing when your internal core temp is at about 375 degrees.

Ah, the memories...

[Irish Mom]

I had a pair of jeans with the entire front cut out with an enormous elastic panel in place, remember those?? It took the waist band right up under my boobies. I also had a pair of shorts that had like 30 pockets. I used to snip the ties off those back tie shirts, by the end of my pregnany they were skin tight anyway!! My worst pregancy fashion emergency was walking around with spilled food on my belly. Chocolate, ketchup, mustard, whatever I happen to have been shoving in my pie hole that day. I was a hot mess!!

[CharmingDriver]

Oooooooooh man the ''fashion sense'' of my pregnancy was somewhere between slim-to-none. You name it, I wore it: Over-all SHORTS (in my defense: Mississippi in AUGUST), leggings, ill-fitting preggo 'jeans', and my favorite of all was yoga pants with my husband's HUGE white t-shirts.

Yes, yes. Was a deeeeeeeeeee-light to behold.

[Country Girl]

this was a brilliant post, I love your sense of humour. This is the first time I've been able to comment properly as my computer at home is the only one which loads properly, when I drop by your blog on my work computer, it doesnt load properly.

You're right aout maernity fashion. My SIL had a beautiful white peaant top when she as pregnant and teamed it with maternity jeans (The kindthat look like normal jeans but have a line of elastic at the top to stretch a little). She looked beautiful!

[baloney]

It's been 10 years since I was pregnant -- and for me it was a couple of courderoy jumper dresses that I wore constantly. I was teaching school and had no dough to spend on clothes while my hubby was in school. All of my maternity clothes were hideous - lots of matching sets... a tent top and skinny pants. Ewwww...
My biggest maternity clothes complaint? I'm tall and long waisted. NOTHING fits tall folks and all the panels show. That was back in the day when everything had a panel, of course.

[Renee aka MekhisMom]

I have to honestly say that all of maternity clothes rocked! I used my pregnancy as an excuse to shop. My maternity wardrobe is larger than my regular wardrobe. Even though baby is 15 months I STILL try to get away with wearing some of those clothes. Okay, I guess that is it - needing to retire maternity clothes but still hanging on. That is my fashion faux pas.

[Mrs.D]

I loved my panel-less maternity jeans! If they are comfy for you, wear 'em! I was hot enough without having a stretchy belly panel thing up to my boobs.
And honestly, my maternity clothes were all way cuter than my regular clothes. I cared more about my clothes since I felt I had to make up for the hugeness that was me. lol. I loved the motherhood store at the mall and jc penney. I remeber my aunt wearing this hideous dress thing that was basically empire waisted, denim, had a giant BOW on the side of the collar, and puffy sleeves. It looked like a school uniform from 1890.

[Stephanie]

I feel sad. All those pictures you posted, and then said that they were frumpy and don't wear them? Each and every one of them, I thought looked great. Except for the suspenders and the bright flowered capris. I guess I have a lot to learn before my next pregnancy.

I wore horizontal stripes. And ill-fitting pants. And shirts that were too big. And a tee that said "Beauty, Brains, and Belly!" In my defense, I have terrible fashion sense when I'm not pregnant too, and no fashion budget whatsoever.

Sigh.

[dreams and decor]

The man in the overalls photo is hilarious! I wasn't expecting that at all, as I scrolled through! I actually flinched! (*smile*) Funny and informative post! Am enjoying your blog! Patti

[RoseAnn (The Social Frog)]

Great post, had me laughing :)

[Kaye]

You really crack me up. Where, oh where, do you find pics of men in overalls like that?

CONGRATULATIONS! You have won the Mrs Nespy’s Frugal World Silver Medal for August 22nd. Go to http://mrsnespy.googlepages.com/grabyourmedalhere to get the code to post your medal if you’d like. Thanks for the great writing!

Kaye
http://mrsnespysworld.blogspot.com

[Cara Mirabella]

I was working in advertising while I was pregnant, so I must admit that I had a FABULOUS maternity wardrobe. But I wore overall-shorts on the weekend - A LOT. I loved them - still have them. But won't wear them again.

[Jaden, Steamy Kitchen]

Those overalls would go fab with my CFM boots.

[Frugal Babe]

I had a pair of denim overalls that I bought in college (about 1995), and for some reason they were still hanging around in the back of my closet last year when I got pregnant. I remember thinking that they'd be perfect as a maternity outfit, and dusted them off once my jeans started getting tight. Not such a good plan, unless you're aiming for the "shapeless, yet fat, pregnant lady look" or the "is she pregnant, or just letting herself go?" look. The overalls are no longer in my closet. My 4 month old son looks awesome in overalls. Me, not so much.

[Mum-me]

I think I made all of those mistakes, except the 'slogan' t-shirt, during my 55 months of pregnancy (no.3 was 3 weeks over and no.6 was 1 week over, hence the extra month of pregnancy.)

My worst would have had to have been the white dress with little black flower print all over. It would have looked good on a size 8 non-pregnant woman, but it just made me look like a walking tent.

[karrie]

The pregnant man 'ralls are hilarious!

[Kelly]

Hey Fussy!

It's my first time at your rockin' blog (linked over from Blissfully Domestic) and I just knew that I had to respond since I'm currently expecting little lady #2. :o)

My last pregnancy was two years ago, so not much has changed since then except for the season of when the bump is biggest - but I did have a pair of army green mat pants last time around that Hubby dubbed "The J-Lo Pants". I never thought anything I'd wear when preggo would denote anything even remotely similar to Jennifer Lopez (this was pre-her babies), LOL. They were baggy and possibly could be what MC Hammer would wear if he was a pregnant woman in 2006. Hmmm, they've been mysteriously lost...wonder where? ;o)

[the mama hood]

It definitely has to be the Muu Muu my mom gave me. I used it as a nightgown but it was definitely NOT cute! I also sported the ugly denim overalls! Hey it was my first pregnancy I thought I looked really cute! lol!